16 Table Etiquette Rules: Phones, Napkins and Food Photos
Follow these rules to avoid awkward moments at the table. Who begins eating? When should you use a napkin? Which foods may be eaten by hand, and how should you eat long pasta? How do you hold a glass, and what about ordering a beer? We also cover mobile phones and late arrivals.
‘Women have it harder…’
Rules of table etiquette have evolved over hundreds of years. There are simpler and more formal ways of dining. Traditional etiquette imposed more complicated rules on women than men, expecting a lady to appear especially elegant.
1. Arriving and leaving
Avoid arriving late. Being more than 15 minutes late is considered especially rude. Think of the traditional quarter-hour grace period from school days. If you are running late, send a text message to let the others know.
If you leave the table during a social gathering, briefly excuse yourself: ‘Please excuse me for a moment.’ This matters especially when you are dining with one other person.
2. Who enters first?
According to this older rule, a man enters a restaurant or bar first and escorts the woman inside. Even though she is unlikely to encounter a flying plate or beer glass from a brawl nowadays, the custom has him lead the way.
3. Choosing a drink
In the First Czechoslovak Republic, a woman going out for a beer with a friend was frowned upon. Drinks are no longer divided by gender. As etiquette expert Ladislav Špaček puts it, however, a good reputation matters more than a good time.
4. Posture
Good manners also show in how we sit and carry ourselves. Avoid sprawling across the table.
5. Use a napkin
Do not wipe your mouth with the back of your hand. Use a napkin, whether you need to remove beer foam or a little spaghetti sauce.
6. Put the phone away
Phones have become a constant distraction at the table. Smartphones and mobile internet have made it even easier to stare at a screen instead of speaking to the people around us.
When you meet someone, it is rude to ignore your companion in favour of a phone.
Keep your phone in your bag or pocket while eating. Take calls after the meal.
7. Photographing food
Instagram has made many people more aware of how food looks and more inclined to photograph it. If someone has cooked for you, ask before posting a picture of their food and a comment online.
The article considers photographing food in a restaurant rude unless you are a food writer reviewing the dish.
8. Serving and starting to eat
Ideally, everyone in a restaurant receives their meal at the same time. Wait until everyone at the table has been served before you begin.
When hosting at home, serve the most honoured guest first. Wait until the hostess is seated before starting to eat.
9. Before reaching for salt or pepper
If someone invites you to eat at their home, adding salt or pepper to the dish can seem tactless. The hostess has seasoned it as well as she could, so be considerate.
10. Tasting someone else's food
Do not take food from another person's plate unless they invite you to, even if they are a close friend or partner.
11. Do not talk with your mouth full
Chew quietly with your mouth closed. No one needs to see your food while you eat.
12. Stemmed glasses
Hold a stemmed glass by its stem so the drink does not warm unnecessarily.
The original article recommends that a woman order a small beer for appearance’s sake. It also cautions against lipstick marks on the glass and suggests long-wear lipstick before dinner.
13. Cutlery and hands
For a meal with several courses, a restaurant may set out several pieces of cutlery. Start with those on the outside and work inward.
Pizza and hamburgers are among the foods you can eat with your hands rather than cutlery.
14. Spaghetti and other pasta
In Italy, spaghetti, macaroni, tagliatelle and other pasta are usually eaten with a fork, without a spoon or knife. Children may use a spoon while learning to handle a fork.
15. Topping up drinks
Traditional etiquette says a woman may top up her own beer, while a man pours her wine. In a more formal restaurant, the staff will often look after the drinks for you.
Avoid drinking directly from a bottle or can in a restaurant. The article also reserves straws for soft drinks, not beer.
16. Accidents at the table
If you spill a drink on someone or splash them with spaghetti sauce, stay calm and avoid drawing attention to the accident. Cover the spill with a napkin and wait for the staff to help.
